“The Unbearable Concept of Rejection”

The pain of rejection cannot be equally quantified or qualified. It leads to a feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and grief. Many may not know what it means to look through the purlieus of one’s life and come to a conclusion that there is no solution, that is, no more opportunities available in one’s life. It is like being caught in an ambush, under duress. No wonder many people have decided to take their life rather than try any further. No one can truly understand the pain of rejection; neither can he understand the value of acceptance until he is rejected. For one to overcome the trauma of rejection, it requires a lot of energy, courage and strength. Many individuals do not know how far their smiles can go, many do not know how far their hugs can reach, neither do they understand the extent their parting words could reach, but, most times we feel comfortable to displace or vent our pent-up emotions in the name of pouring out our heart only to hurt someone else who probably is suffering heartbreak, why not swallow it up at times and let time take its course?, or just say ‘sorry’ for peace sake even when you seem not to be at fault, that is maturity. To me, maturity is simply the ability to manage one’s emotions; or as social scientists may call it, emotional intelligence. If you look through the problems of others, you would find out that most times the deep root of it is external, before the problem cuts in within. It is very true that time is meant to heal, but, it is still not enough to prevent a scar. Research has it that medically-challenged individuals respond to treatment and improve faster when friends, families and significant others show care, irrespective of their challenge. A lady in a critical condition, awaiting treatment in a New York hospital waited for many hours, she suddenly fell down panting for breath, but many felt she was faking it or just hospital histrionics. Many passed by her, even nurses and the police. After a long while, it was discovered that the woman had died. She actually died due to rejection and neglect. This is how far rejection can go. Many at times, we assume; we assume so much that we think that everyone that laughs or smiles has no problem. One thing you can be sure of if nothing else is that, every human has something to think about. To accept others requires a personal decision to reach out to people no matter the differences, preparing one’s self for the worst of attitudes and the best of gestures. The effect of acceptance cannot be compared to the harm of rejection.
It is our responsibility as humans to cater for the emotions of others because, we are in a complex world where things change rapidly and problems are not written on faces, so, one may never know what others are facing per time. I want to ask you, have you really cared for others?, have you really been managing your emotions effectively?, can you simply say ‘sorry’?.


Bolu Michael-Biyi

3 thoughts on ““The Unbearable Concept of Rejection”

  1. Tosinger says:

    Hmm..True. Some food for thought there.
    All humans are interconnected via a common web of the ability to feel, by virtue of the blood that pumps in our heart. We all, regardless of race or gender have the inate need to love and be loved.
    In fact, troublesome personalities are traced to a root of rejection of the individual in his/her past.We should all take the time to give a smile, at least, to someone today. It may just be what they need to fulfil that emotional acceptance from the world.
    As a reflection of Jehovah, our God,our Creator,our Father, His greatest commandment is to love Him and love our NEIGHBORS, fellow humans as ourselves.We would not reject ourselves despite our weaknesses, would we?.

    Thanks for this write up, Honorable Mr Bolu-Michael.

  2. Olumide Owolabi says:

    i never believed in your oratory skills till when i saw your articles. u awaken a fire to go for the undarable. what eloquence in speech, what finesse in writing and finally what grace in message delivery. u are set to rule.

  3. Rejection could indeed be unbearable; however, it’ll hurt the victim who waits for attention, or a show of remorse, more that it would the inflictor. It might not haunt the offender who’s unwilling to say sorry, but it would torture you waiting for it. I’ll define emotional intelligence as the ability to sheild sentiments, and set the course of your emotions. Define the words spoken to you only in terms that wouldn’t hurt you (words are weightless. They are only worth the value the receiver paces on them), read only positive meanings to people’s attitudes; always remain objective: see everything from a third-person’s eye before taking it personal. I assure you: you won’t get hurt.

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